Many of my friends and acquaintances wonder aloud at how I and my fellow mariners deal with the holidays while at sea. It’s inconceivable to them that being away from home during the holidays is something we can accept. To those of us who are at sea during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, the day is like any other except we can expect (or at least hope for) a large meal with the trimmings and a nice overtime addition to the paycheck.
Since I started in the early seventies, I’ve missed way more than half of the “big three”, much to the chagrin of my family and friends. For the past 54+ years it’s how it’s always been for me and my family. My Dad was home or away, we seldom knew for certain whether he’d be home or not since work was the priority. For my own little family, it’s been more of the same.
In 1980 I was a new mate with Exxon Shipping Company’s East Coast Branch and I was assigned to the Tug Exxon Pelham and Tow #1. It was supposed to work out that I’d be home for that Christmas and be able to celebrate with my wife and 3 year old daughter, but a schedule change forced the cycle in the wrong direction. I found myself on the tug waiting for orders in the Constable Hook Terminal in Bayonne NJ on Christmas Eve, far from home and more than a little blue. Of course, it was snowing.
My wife was showing a brave face over the telephone, and luckily my daughter hadn’t a clue. I walked back from the pay-phone and at the 1800 watch change the Captain walked in and asked how far away home was for me. I was only about 80 miles away but it might as well have been 800. I had only been working with this captain for a couple of hitches, but that day he proved to be a kind and decent man. He promptly told me I should go home and spend the holiday with my family since we weren’t going anywhere for at least 2 days. I was reluctant for about 10 minutes being the “new guy”, but he convinced me it would be okay, I agreed to take him up on his offer. When I asked what I could do in return, he insisted that I should return the favor by doing the same for my mate somewhere down the road. Captain Paul Lewis made an impression on me that endures today. I have since returned his favor a couple of times with the same request that it was made of me all those years ago.
Me (look at the hair!), Richie Anderson, Capt Paul Lewis, Joe Rodowsky; Paul Lewis' and Richie Anderson's retirement party on the Pelham 1981
Being away is tough but it makes the coming home that much sweeter. My wife always makes the holiday for us when I return and we celebrate regardless of the date. It works out well for us, our friends after all these years understand and appreciate the situation. It actually makes things a bit better when one doesn’t have to race from one set of relatives to another on the same day. Too hectic.
The holidays are always considered and we make commitments based on our schedule. We swing the hitch every year to spread the holidays out so everyone has a chance at least once every other year to have the “big three” at home. In the past the hitch swing wasn’t all that common, but it has become part of the annual scheduling process for us on the east coast. Most of us anyway.
So as you raise a glass this holiday season remember someone is always at sea, 24/7/365.
Have a safe, healthy, and happy Holiday Season.
Capt. B:
Worked in the technical end in the “glamorus” world of television for twenty years. Nineteen of them on the midnight shift. Like tugging TV is also a 24/7 business so I can relate to your post about working the holidays. I spent many of them in windowless rooms under artificial lights. At least from the helm you can sometimes see the stars or even the sun! Plus like you mentioned you don’t get caught in the holiday traffic jams either. That’s something to be thankful for.
It is what it is, someone will always be at work, otherwise everything goes to Hell in a hurry. Enjoy your holidays. bb
Capt B.
You mentioned making the call to your wife from a pay phone during the Christmas holiday. It got me thinking that being on a tug or barge during the holidays must have been harder in the pre-cell phone days. Trying to find a pay phone to call home I would think would be a priority during such times. Communication and staying in touch with family and friends is much easier these days. Not only with having cell phones but, computers and email as well. However, in the pre-cell phone days when underway you would have limited ways to communicate during the holidays. I would guess using a Marine Operator on VHF would be the only option but, the privacy of such calls is zero. Have you ever used the Marine Operator to make such calls? Does anyone still use the Marine Operator anymore? I’d be curious to hear your perspective either here or in a future post since your career has bridged both era’s.
The “pre-cell”days (prior to 1990) that you’ve aptly named, were a crap shoot compared the “reach-out-at-a-whim” crowd these days. I didn’t own a cell-phone until 1999, I was building a new home at the time and figured I’d take the plunge so I could stay in touch as construction progressed and I could confer with the “Boss” (mywife) as it went along. At times it was days before you could touch base with loved ones. It was much easier for us on tugs since we were coast-wise for the most part but it could be 4-5 days without an opportunity to get ashore and call. The oceangoing crews had it much worse. It was a common sight when docked to see a line of men at the nearest pay-phone, killing time waiting on some long-winded, love-sick a*****e to finish up so they could call home before the Captain could toot the whistle signaling, “time is up, let’s go”. The Marine Operator was all we had and it wasn’t cheap, it wasn’t private either. If there was a burning need to call home, every other poor bastard in range had to listen to your conversation before they could get through with their own call..the call quality was as bad as a cheap walkie talkie at times, sometimes worse. The cell phone/internet has eased some of the loneliness, but it hasn’t changed the fact that we’re away.
Capt. B- very well done. I would guess that this isn’t your year for being home, and I’m sorry to hear it. This will be my first Christmas home in 4 years, and also the first one I get to spend with my wife and son. As you very aptly put it, it does make us appreciate the season all the more.
We’re working the Thanksgiving holiday and home for Christmas this time around. It doesn’t get any easier the longer I work afloat. Be safe out there and a Happy healthy holiday to you and your family.
Regards,
bb
As the years progress and my kids get older, not being home for Christmas is not such a big deal for them. I think the thing I miss most is the fact that I miss the school vacation, and with my wife working in the school system also, I miss out on time with her. This year we get on on the 22 and off Jan.7, so it is all a wash. We did have the whole season last year, so its only fair.
If it is any help for the younger guys in this industry, or anyone with small children, I always found that working Christmas and getting off right after was alot easier on the psyche-you have a bunch of the “Holiday Season” to visit family and friends instead of rushing around in the pre-Christmas chaos to get everything done. There is nothing worse than being home for Christmas Day only to get up at 0200 the next morning to drive to the boat.
Amen